"Welcome to the Neighborhood"

Hey Folks,

I'm just jotting down a quick post to let everyone know that I have explanded my blogging skills (or lack there of) onto another URL. You can also find me at the following: "A Blunder of Acute Perspicuity". This site won't include little wonderful tidbits like "Colin poopied on his onsie" and "Kellan poopied on the potty!" (which she did, by the way! Yay Kellan! Mommy is so proud.....)  I'm still working on my first real post. I can't promise anything smart will come of it, but I figure "eh, what the hell..."

"Someone Just Make It Stop!"

As of today, my son is now 3 months and 15 days old. For 3 months and 15 days I have frantically tried to find the cure for Colic. I might as well try to find the cure for cancer while I'm at it....

What is Colic? Oh my friend, let me spell it out for you. Colic is the uncontrollable crying in a baby. It's the uncontrollable crying in MY baby. Sure, he coo's and smiles. Every now and then I get lucky and hear a giggle. But brace yourself, don't be fooled. There's a crying jag somewhere in the near future....

Don't read me wrong, I love my son. But there is something about constant screaming that brings out the true beauty in a woman. Sometimes I remind myself of the stereotypical woman you see in the comics all lookin' like fug with nothing on but a pink matted robe, hair curlers, and an "I'm An Early Riser" coffee mug in hand for that special ray of sunshine. It makes me want to chuck a rubber mallet at my bathroom mirror at about 8:30 in the morning.

I can't count how many times I have been asked how I deal with it or how to stop it. Apparently Ms. Optimism hasn't got a clue of what Colic really is. Or better yet, she doesn't have children. I don't have a cure, but I've at least found a few things to keep a piece of my sanity.

• Swings: Better yet, swings with obnoxious sounds and dangling doo-dads. If you use this option make sure to by stock in rechargable batteries. You'll end up spending your retirement on size "C" batteries. It might be worth it.
• Bouncy Seats: Specifically the ones that vibrate. If you're lucky it might lull your tater tot to sleep. Once again, this item is an energy sucker. See above about batteries.
• Gripe Water and Mylicon: Holy water.
  
• "Snuggies": I don't know what they're really called, but I'm talking about those little blanket things with animal heads on them for your kids to form a comfort attachment to. Colin loves his. He snuggles the crap out of it and chews on the giraffe head. It buys me about 15 minutes of quiet and saves me a few gray hairs.
• Singing: Colin loves it when I sing about anything and everything. I sing about the dopiest things. If anyone where to catch me I'm sure I'd have my IQ tested. I got tired of "The Wheels on the Bus" long ago.

Figuring out the quirks in your child isn't easy. At 3 weeks old, I took Colin to my pediatrician looking for answers. She told me he suffered from Acid Reflux and put him on medication to help. Result? I ran straight to my local drugstore and filled that prescription faster than a Jack Rabbit on speed. Within weeks I took him off. Nothing seemed to help. I remember being on a mini vacation with my mother to "get away" and he screamed for 5 hours straight instead. By 10 o'clock that night we both were at our wits end. I could hear my mom quietly praying in the corner to make it stop. Even though I am not a religious person what so ever, it worked. I passed out minutes later so I wouldn't break down crying in relief.

I'm not sure how much this helps an indivudual looking for answers, but everything is worth at least a try when you're too tired to function in society. Just remember how much you love your children and at some point they will grow out of it. My best advice would be to do anything to find a happy place. Stick it out. And of course, find comfort in chocolate during the quiet moments.

A Picture Is Worth a Thousand Words

Disney On Ice: 100 Years of Magic

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Yet another wonderful Disney adventure came upon us! We took the kids (okay, Kellan) to see Disney on Ice this year. I had been wanting to go to for years. YEARS I tell you... So, back in March I decided I was going to finally buy tickets. If you are mulling this over in your head and it's not adding up, I'll make it easy on you: uh, yeah, I bought tickets for a show in October back in March. Why? Partly because I'm impulsive and neurotic, you're right. But you know what? We got first row. Bite me.

I LOVED the show. Not only am I a total Disney sucker, but I love me some live shows. I don't care if it's the Nutcracker Ballet or the Ringling Brothers Circus and the arena smells of elephant dung, I like 'em. And I like 'em close.

Kellan was able to see her favorite Princess, Cinderella, along with another Disney character love, Stitch. That alone was well worth it to her. I got to see Ariel, and Eric made her do this cool flippy thing that made her swim like a mermaid. Don't ask me to explain it, I'm not well educated in the technicalities of figure skating.

The songs were great. "It's a Small World" was amazing. In all truth I am somewhat bias. I love "It's a Small World." The song reminds me of my many trips to Disneyland. It's tradition to ride this wonderfully outdated (even after it's recent renovations) yet simply charming ride right as the park is closing, when all others are viewing the parade and you get a few quiet moments in the night. It made me miss California terribly for those few minutes....

Okay, back to the blog. Show was great. Yada yada yada. Kellan met Mickey again, along with Pumba, Simba, Nala, Rafikki, Stitch, and some Russian chick from IASW. Oh, and she drank a really huge Cherry Coke. Okay, I helped her.

"Nothing Runs Like A Deere"

I am so proud of Colin. He has proved over the weekend that, indeed, he is all boy!

It's tradition to take my kids out on the "toys" and show them the property for their first trips to my Grandfather's farm. I find it important for them to have the chance to connect to this beautiful place that I have fallen in love with over the years. With my Grandpa turning 90 next week and with his health declining, I know I've got to get it in while I can.

One of my Grandpa's favorite pass times out there is to sit atop the smaller John Deere tractor and use it as his personal golf cart all over the property. He acts like a small boy, eager to check every little spot of land over to make sure it's all running smoothly. Before his back surgery in July, he'd be on that thing for hours.


So you can imagine my delight when I discovered Colin's contentment on that thing. During a crying jag, I'd hop up in the seat and turn on the engine. From that moment on he'd quiet right down with his eyes wide open, taking in all the colorful blobs he could see. I'd ride him around in circles showing him the trees until his eyes would get heavy. The tractor is better than any bouncy seat or swing you could register for! So, I've decided I need one here at my house.

I'm just glad those things have such a tight turning radius. The backyard isn't very big....

It's The Ups That Bring You Back From The Downs

Colin has been smiling at me all morning. Of course every time I try to capture this miracle I am seconds behind the wonder. As if that weren't the biggest highlight of my morning... he gave me a quick chuckle! It's the cutest thing I have ever heard come out of him (and I have heard plenty come out of him..)! It was wonderful. It makes all the crying jags sound like birds chirping on a bright summer morning. I can only hope that from this day forward they visit me more frequently. I love that sound already :)


And a fairy is born.