Becoming da Vinci

"Every artist dips her brush in her own soul,
and paints her own nature into her pictures."

For months now I have been dying to get Kellan into an art class. She loves to draw and doodle all over my important paperwork, so I thought giving her a constructive outlet might redirect her creativity and save my sanity, one hour per week at a time.

To be honest: She HATED painting. Oh hell no did she want that goop all over her fingers. She is so Steve about her hands getting dirty it's scary. She cried and cried and boobed and hollered and carried on for most the class because of this. She did, however, still manage to make a painting through it all that I have proudly displayed in our front room, which is now serving as her temporary playroom. I'm hoping that after a few classes she will relax and see that all the other kids are having fun getting messy. Only time will tell.

The "Mona Lisa"

After finger painting we moved on to gluing shapes on papers to make things. Today, Kellan was able to make a sailboat to take home. She actually was into it. Her fingers didn't have to get messy when using a glue stick and she was able to use her favorite creative medium: the marker. At the end the teacher brought around a glitter shaker for a finishing touch and Kellan thought that was pretty awesome. I'm so proud of her projects today. I can't wait to take her back next week!

Just To Brighten One's Day

Sadly, it's over.

Bruce Willis married model Emma Heming in a ceremony at his Parrot Cay home on the Turks and Caicos islands in the Caribbean yesterday.

What happened? This isn't the way it was supposed to go down. I'm sad to say that the love affair is over. 13 years. 13 years! He let a good one get away.

So, so sad...

It's been speculated for some time now that Bruce Willis would be tying the knot with his girlfriend, model Emma Heming. However, the National Enquirer is reporting that Willis and Heming will finally be getting married.

In fact, they're reportedly getting married this weekend in some "exotic location."

I have spent the last 13 years loyally being a devoted (stalker) fan of his. If he gets married again I will have lost all faith in fate. Do you know how many engagements he has been through since he divorced what's her face? Even I can barely keep track. This isn't supposed to actually happen. Bruce and I were meant to walk into the sunset, hand and hand, talking about (getting old, er, me getting old) having babies together.

Homewrecker. The sidewalk is not your "catwalk". Go home.

What's with all the Pregos?

"Today in “arousing coincidence” news, Access Hollywood points out that at least ten actresses from Primetime television are pregnant. And while it’s never good for the planet when actors procreate, it at least gives the set and costume designers something to do.

Primetime prop managers are being put to work covering up the blooming baby bumps of stars including Alyson Hannigan and Cobie Smulders from “How I Met Your Mother,” Rachel Griffiths from “Brothers and Sisters,” Kelly Rutherford from “Gossip Girl,” and Chyler Leigh, who plays [the only attractive woman] on “Grey’s Anatomy.”

“I’ve hit the six month mark and I’m totally showing now,” Chyler recently told Access Hollywood. “So you’ll begin to see me carrying various medical items (charts, notepads, etc.) more often. The oversized scrub top under my normal jacket isn’t completely cutting it.”

I don’t see why they have to hide it. Just have the writers make the characters irresponsible and promiscuous. Pregnant women are crazy hot. I can’t help but love the way they have unprotected sex."



*** It's not so much the article that matters, it's the picture that I find hilarious. I imagine Barney Stinson sandwiched between two "pregos" and I crack up. Everyone really is pregnant. Myself, my sister's a week behind me, a good friend is 3 days behind me, the lady down the street who insisted on talking to me this morning is a week ahead. My cousin is the beginning of June. Steve's co-worker's wife is then too. I'm patiently waiting for my sister to announce her 9th and my Mom to shock us all at 54. Ew. Let's not gte ahead of ourselves here.

Dancing with Ty Murray

Let be honest, American Idol sucks. What a waste of two consecutive nights a week. They will never find another Carrie Underwood. That's her name, right? Whatever.

I usually think the same thing about Dancing with the Stars. I figured this season was going to be the same. I can't stand Steve-O from Jackass. I always hated that show. What a crude, pointless waste of thirty minutes. All they ever did was hit each other in the crotch or do something stupid to have their own hit. How many times does America need to watch these turds keel over with pain? Answer:0.

I can't stand Denise Richards either. She's a total fame whore. She exploits her children to get chump change jobs while going on a hate campaign against her ex husband. He's no one special either, but give it up woman. Just let the prostitute banger go on with his life. The last thing I want to see from you is your fake smile in a leotard.

But I confess, I love Ty Murray. For those of you that don't know he is one of the top men in PBR (Bull riding) and he's married to Jewel, the singer. I thought for sure he'd bomb right away, but I was pleasantly surprised. Way to go homie! Even though there are a few other celebrities and are better dancers then he is, I'm rooting for him all the way. I'm asking you all to too. Here's the info

800-868-3408 to vote for him or you can go to abc. com/dancingwiththestars and click to vote.
Each phone line and each "member" on the computer gets 13 votes. I called from our house phone, my cell phone, Steve's cell phone, along with my 13 votes on the computer. I'd much rather see him win than that one dude who is a "celebrity" for being in the Sex in the City movie for like 3 minutes.

Thank you for your time.



Update: Ty Murray made it through the first round of elimination. Go Ty!

Happy Hump Day!

No, it's not Wednesday. And no, I'm not referring to spring being in the air. I'm celebrating today because I'm officially entering my 20th week of baby brewing. Time only goes downhill from here. T - 20 weeks and counting.

Get your mind out of the gutter folks.