My son is now 5 days old now and you'd think I'd finally make a post already, right? Shesh, I am a bad Mom. While both kids are sleeping I will keep ya'll updated to the latest. Just call me Perez.

I had my son on Wednesday, July 22 at 3:24 p.m. All was normal that morning as usual, no signs of labor. I had taken Kellan to her art class and come home with the overwhelming feeling that I needed to speak to my OB. I got a call back from her at 10:30 and it was decided I was going in to be induced. "Can you be there by noon?" Uh............................ sure? Holy crap, she gave me an hour and a half to prepare! As I started frantically packing the last few little items I needed, she called me back. Baby is not in the right position and a C-section was needed. I got tot he hospital at noon to start my preop process. I was scared out of my mind. Not only did I not anticipate this, but I had no time to emotionally prepare myself. Giving birth to my daughter was so easy it was a joke. I just figured the same would happen with my son. Boy, was I wrong....

At 3:24 my son was delivered. Up until this point I was an emotional wreck. Laying on the table waiting for them to pull him out I was exhausted. I was so disappointed. I felt like I had failed myself, rather my body had failed me. I felt like I had given up too easy and being in that room wasn't supposed to be happening to me.

For the last 5 months I haven't been able to bond to my fetus like I thought I should. My entire pregnancy was an emotional roller coaster. I felt horrible about it, but always kept my mouth shut. I truly was worried about loving my son enough when he came. I wasn't sure how he was going to turn out. Until I heard him cry.... I cried so hard I steamed up my oxygen mask. I was overwhelmed with joy and relief. He was finally out. When the nurse brought him around for me to catch a quick glance I couldn't see his face. His body was perfect, but I didn't know what he looked like. I remember telling them over and over and no one hearing me. The next ten minutes went by like 10 hours. I just wanted to know how big he was and if he had Downs. That's all I wanted to know and I felt like they were taking their sweet time. I finally was able to see my son. He was beautiful with his golden blond hair. Absolutely beautiful. I am thankful to say I'm already ridiculously attached. He's perfect in every way. And he's mine.